Blog spot: What do parents really worry about?
Sticky Fingers’ blogger mum shares her experience of talking online to other parents to get to the home truths of parenting.
What do parents worry about? Ah yes, there’s the million-dollar question!
How about everything and everything, from whether your children are getting the correct amount of vegetables/sleep/education to whether or not we should have gone back to work and if why oh why has my four-year-old just started shouting at everyone and everything. Or is that just me?
Parenthood just seems to be one big guilt trip. My mother in law is in her 60s and says she still worries about her ‘little boy’! It seems we’ve got it for life ladies and gents.
Insights from the blogging world
The beauty of blogging is you get to discuss these sorts of issues with other parents who’ve been there and done it or are going through the same thing right now.
Back in January I blogged about a mum who had been named and shamed by her child’s teacher for sending him to school with chocolate spread sandwiches. The responses were fabulous and far ranging and gave a better insight to the subject than anything I read at the time.
But I think one of the most ‘popular’ posting exchanges on my blog happened when I asked: Do you smack/spank? Oh boy, it’s a real hot potato this issue and people were really open and honest about it – from the mum who admitted she has a hot temper and has smacked her son’s bottom a handful of times: “It is the most shameful and regretful thing I have ever done. I always instantly apologise – not that that makes it acceptable”, to the people who really opened up about their own childhoods and how being smacked had greatly affected them.
I think as parents we all have very definite ideas of what is right and wrong. We do not smack in this house. I just don’t believe it serves a purpose and only teaches a child that hitting is acceptable in certain situations. I am a firm believer in treating people how you want to be treated in return – and children are no different.
When the children are naughty they are doing it for a reason, whether it’s boredom or attention seeking or whatever. I believe that is our job as parents to discover what that reason is and deal with it, not lose our cool in a hot minute because things aren’t going our way.
However, that being said, I can totally understand when parents lose their cool and lash out. I’ve heard tales to turn your hair grey of children’s behaviour – from toddlers to teens – and it is so easy to lose it out of desperate frustration.
I think my own feelings on the subject are summed up by this comment which was left on the post: “Deliberately inflicting pain on a small child to teach them a lesson or to stop bad behaviour is something I can't get my head around. If you get creative, there are a lot more ‘meaningful’ punishments to choose from!”
It’s always going to be a contentious issue and there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ answer. Just the one that is right or wrong for you I guess.
To read more about the debates on Sticky Fingers’ blogs site, click here:
Lunchbox debate
Do you smack/spank?