Expert view: Do you have a financially compatible marriage?
What can you do if you and your partner are poles apart when it comes to money? Financial journalist Sarah Pennells has 5 top tips.
Do you and your partner see eye to eye when it comes to money? Do you even know how your partner handles their finances? Conflict over finance is one of the most common reasons for couples to break up and even those couples who don’t argue may find it hard to talk constructively about money. But there are ways that you can reach agreement or at least work around your differences – but you have to be prepared to talk.
First steps
Before you can work out how much common ground – and how much disagreement – there is between you, you have to talk. Think about what you want from your money. Do you think money is for spending or do you only feel reassured if you have a healthy balance on your savings account?
SUPERSAVVYME TIP: If your partner thinks money is for spending, he or she won’t necessarily understand your reluctance to dip into your savings – and may even think that you’re tight with money or mean. And if you feel unsettled if you don’t have savings to fall back on, you may feel he’s taking unnecessary risks.
5 top tips
1. Identify your differences and where you’re happy to agree to disagree. Many relationships work – both emotionally and financially – even though both partners have very different money habits. Many of us get important lessons about how to manage money from our parents, although it’s something we may not realise at the time.
2. If your parents were happy to splash the cash without worrying about the consequences, you may expect to do the same. But if your parents were often in debt and lack of money was a source of worry, you might only feel secure if you have money in the bank.
3. Improve your money management skills together. If you are both of a habit of spending money you can’t afford, work out a plan together that will mean you stay within a budget. Focus on something that your new-found restraint will mean you have money to do in the future, whether that’s to be free of debt, to save more or even to retire early. There are lots of online budgeting tools that you can download.
4. Be prepared to talk about areas where you don’t agree. If you can talk about why you have different money ideas, it often makes the differences easier to accept. For example, you may prefer to spend money on doing up your home, whereas your partner may prioritise their hobby.
5. Work out a plan for problem areas in advance. If your partner has a tendency to overspend, make sure you’re not expected to pick up the pieces afterwards.
SUPERSAVVYME TIP: Don’t agree to bail your partner out every time they get into debt. You should each take responsibility for the financial decisions you make. Don’t forget that if your partner has debt problems it could have an impact on your own credit rating.
About Sarah Pennells
Sarah is an experienced broadcast, print and online journalist writing about finance. She has her own website, SavvyWoman, which offers useful advice on all kinds of financial matters that affect everyday life – from children’s savings to tax to useful tips on divorce and money.