Idle Threats

Idle Threats

Idle Threats


Millie, Badly Drawn Mum

The hardest part of parenting is punishing them when they’re naughty. No one wants to be the shouty mum in the supermarket. But at the same time, when they’re clobbering someone’s head with a dumper truck, you’ve got to do something, right?

Me, I’m queen of the bad threat. An example:

“If you don’t stop doing that, we’re going home right now!” Which would be fine if they didn’t actually want to go home.

Or:

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“I’m going to count to three. One… Two… Two-and-a-half… Two-and-three-quarters….” (All the time thinking, ‘Noooo! He’s going to make me say three! And then what do I do?!”)

Worse still is when you start the threat, but haven’t thought it through. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve found myself saying, “If you do that again, I’ll… I’ll…” I’ll do what, exactly? That’s the trouble – I’ve got no idea. And by that point the battle’s lost.

I think that’s why they invented the phrase, ‘Just you wait until your father gets home.’

- Monday 9th December 2013

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