Smells like trouble

Smells Like Trouble

Smells like trouble


Millie, Badly Drawn Mum

Today I went to see our new house (we move in in three weeks) and, er. wow does it need some work. Nothing 'structural' just 'cosmetic', the estate agent kept saying in his own special language. But it HONKS! Dave and I must have had heavy colds when we viewed it.

The house has genuinely remarkable smells and, like a range of swanky paints, I have named these weird odours. In the bathroom there's '6 Month Mildew'; in the kitchen it's 'Curry Mist'; and in the main bedroom what can only be described as 'Burnt Hair'. I wish I'd left a bottle of Febreze prominently in the kitchen.

When I got home I panicked. What if the people buying our house are saying the same thing? I went round every room sniffing like a blood hound. And yes it smells fine to my nose, but what if they have named the smell of our bedroom
'Dave's Trainers'? Or our kitchen 'Wet Towel'?

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In a fit of paranoia I asked our neighbour, Mr Kilgour (60s, Scottish, elegant) what he thought. "Do you know, it smells like my Nan's house. It was a busy house, just like yours." I was genuinely touched. It reminded him of home and of family. And where was her house I asked dreamily. "She lived on a farm."

A FARM.

Gutted.

- Sunday 25th November 2012

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Discover more Millie
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The Language of 'No'
Dave's 15th Birthday

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