The truth about holidaying with kids

Remember the days when you took one small carry-on and still had a different outfit to wear every day? Now you’ve got nappies, armbands, pool inflatables, Robbie Rabbit (Lord help you if you forget Robbie Rabbit)... And the worst part – you’ve only managed to squash in one sun dress and a couple of bikinis for you.

It’s the first night of the holiday and you’re out to dinner – yippee! Except your kids aren’t being *completely* quiet and the couple at the next table keep shooting you death stares. You and your husband give the kids your phones and a wonderful Peppa Pig-induced silence descends. Happy days! Except the people two tables away are now looking at you as if you’re the worst parents in the world.

We all know how important it is to protect our little ones from the sun’s rays, but have you ever tried to keep a hat on a small child? Applying their sun cream isn’t exactly easy either. Well, not unless you’ve been practicing on a particularly restless eel!

In the days before kids, the lead-up to a holiday saw all kinds of waxing, exfoliating, fake tanning and pedicuring going on. Now you’re so busy trying to remember how to fold up the travel cot, your beauty routine gets shoved into last place. Luckily the Venus Bikini Trimmer couldn’t be easier to use, Aussie Pure Locks makes great hair days an everyday thing, and Olay Total Effects SPF30 will leave your skin glowing.

Ok, kids today might be Insta-ready when it’s just them in the picture, but don’t expect them to stand still for more than a millisecond when you want to set a timer to get a family shot. Even if you’ve managed to get them all in line when you’ve carefully balanced your camera on a rock, by the time you get to them, one’s wandered off to the nearest rock pool, and the other’s managed to cover her face in chocolate ice cream.

Do you want to go wee-wee before we set out? “NO!” Are you sure? “NOOOOOOOOOO WEEE-WEEEE! NOOOOOOOO!” You know what comes next. Twenty minutes later, half an hour from the next motorway service station. “Mummy, I need a wee. NOW MUMMY NOW.” This is your life now.

It doesn’t matter if they’ve had a proper breakfast, a hearty lunch or there’s a nice big dinner coming up: a combination of boredom and opportunity means there will be constant requests for ice creams, lollies, chocolate and exciting European sugary drinks (that are just as bad for you as the sugary British ones). Still, however hungry they are, there’s one thing you can guarantee: they’ll absolutely refuse to touch any "funny foreign food" they get served at proper mealtimes.

It takes a certain grown-up perspective to be awestruck by incredible buildings, views or museums. And that is not easily found in a five-year-old with a yearning for a swimming pool. While you might want to wander the quaint streets, tick off the landmarks and take arty photos, all they’re really thinking about is how soon they can get back to the lilos and beach balls. You might just as well give in and enjoy it. Sun, sea, another book… How bad can it be?

Whatever the challenges of going away with our kids, it only takes one lovely moment to make it all worthwhile. Whether that’s watching their little faces the first time they spot the sea or feeling their sandy, sweaty little hand in yours.

We’d love you to share them with us in the comments section below.